New England
My journey began more than four years ago. At 29, my husband and I wanted to start our family. I knew I would have a little trouble because I have PCOS, but I could never have imagined the road ahead.
My gynecologist quickly recognized that I would need the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. I tentatively agreed, and on our way we went. My first chance at an IUI took a long time, probably over six months. It took me a long time to ovulate with my first try on 250mg of Clomid. It was around day 30 of my cycle and I was so excited! And then, unfortunately, my period came. This went on for six IUI cycles of Clomid and two IUI cycles of injectables. By this time, I was definitely starting to become scared, but I remained positive; I kept busy, working on losing weight to help my cause (I lost 50lbs!), and I tried acupuncture, fertility yoga, reading all kinds of books and eating only organic foods.
When my first IVF came I thought, “Finally, this is it!.” There were no reasons why I wasn't getting pregnant. The medications solved my ovulating problems, I was young, my husband had no problems (they actually said he was an overachiever with his great sperm count), so I was ready. But no luck, again. I was devastated. I couldn't understand why?
Throughout all this, my husband was the most supportive, wonderful partner. He’s always been there for me- whatever I needed- staying positive and always believing everything would work out somehow. I understand how this journey can pull you apart or bring you together. Luckily, we became closer by listening to each other more, and letting the small arguments brush away. We just kept hoping.
I had the second IVF and, finally, I was pregnant! What a relief! But at our seven-week ultrasound, there was no heartbeat. Strangely, I handled it better this time than the first. At least I finally got pregnant, so I knew it wasn't impossible. So, after a little impromptu trip my husband and I took, we prepared for number three.
We took this one in stride. We didn't tell any of our friends or family, I didn't rearrange my work schedule, and we just went day to day. This round they removed the least number of eggs than any of the previous rounds. I also had the least number fertilized. But, we just went on.
The week before the pregnancy test I had spotting on and off, and I hoped it was implantation spotting. It was- Pregnant again! We kept cool and just went day to day again.
It seemed like an eternity until the ultrasound in the seventh week. And then, we got the news … heartbeats – yes, plural – we were going to have TWINS!! It seemed surreal for the next few months and slowly I let myself relax and enjoy my miracle pregnancy.
I'm proud to say my babies, a boy and girl, will be turning one on December 11th!
I always believed I would be a mother. I didn't know how or when, I didn't know what my family would look like ... but I knew it would all make sense in the end. And it does. I wouldn't change anything we did or went through to have what we've been blessed with today. I think the journey actually prepared us for the joys and challenges of having twins!
I understand how terrifying the thought of not achieving what you want after going through fertility treatments can be. But I'm proof that it CAN happen. If you really want it, just don't give up!
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